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Duolingo Spanish Podcast - Episode 19: Flamenco

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Flamenco is famous for the emotional intensity of its songs and dances. Argentinian Samanta Gamarra discovered that this ancient art from southern Spain has another quality that is less known for, the ability to heal wounds, the deepest ones.

When
Samanta
Gamarra
thinks
back
on
Sundays
of
her
childhood
in
Buenos
Aires,
she
hears
music.
But
not
the
tango
songs
one
would
stereotypically
associate
with
Argentina.
She
hears
Flamenco,
specifically
songs
of
great
artists
like
Paco
de
Lucía,
Lola
Flores
or
Camarón
de
la
Isla.
Me
despertaba
con
esas
canciones
cada
domingo.
Escuchábamos
música
en
casetes.
Mamá
y
yo
cantábamos
las
canciones
mientras
yo
intentaba
bailar
flamenco.
Samanta's
grandfather
migrated
to
Argentina
in
the
1930s
from
Spain’s
southern
region
of
Andalucia—that’s
where
flamenco
was
born.
It’s
a
mix
of
dance,
singing
and
guitar
playing
and
is
famous
for
its
emotional
intensity.
It’s
been
around
for
over
two
hundred
years.
Estoy
segura
de
que
mi
mamá
ponía
esa
música
los
domingos
para
recordar
a
su
padre.
Creo
que
ella
dedicaba
ese
día
a
recordarlo.
Listening
to
flamenco
was
how
Samanta’s
mom
reconnected
with
her
father,
Samanta’s
grandfather.
And
decades
later,
it
would
serve
as
a
connection
between
Samanta
and
her
own
mom,
when
she
most
needed
her.
Bienvenidos
and
welcome
to
the
Duolingo
Spanish
Podcast
I’m
Martina
Castro.
Every
episode,
we
bring
you
fascinating
true
stories,
to
help
you
improve
your
Spanish
listening,
and
to
gain
new
perspectives
on
the
world.
The
storyteller
will
be
using
intermediate
Spanish
and
I’ll
be
chiming
in
for
context
in
English.
If
you
miss
something,
you
can
always
skip
back
and
listen
again—and
we
also
offer
full
transcripts
at
podcast.duolingo.com.
Today’s
story
comes
from
Buenos
Aires,
Argentina.
It’s
called
“Flamenco”
told
by
Samanta
Gamarra.
Please
note
that
you’ll
be
hearing
Samanta
speak
in
an
Argentine
accent.
They
pronounce
their
double
LLs
and
Ys
with
a
SH
sound,
as
in
“aSHer”
or
“caSHe”
instead
of
“ayer”
or
“calle”.
Angela
Romero,
Samanta's
mother,
had
hazel
eyes
that
appeared
to
shift
in
color
depending
on
the
weather
and
the
light.
De
pequeña,
me
gustaba
mirar
sus
ojos.
En
los
días
soleados
eran
verde
claro
y
en
los
días
nublados
eran
de
color
marrón.
Angela’s
facial
expressions
changed
along
with
the
color
of
her
eyes.
For
example,
she
would
sit
quietly
when
she
drank
mate,
the
tea
that
Argentines
typically
drink.
And,
absorbed
in
her
thoughts,
her
face
would
take
on
a
tragic
look.
Pero
esa
expresión
trágica
desaparecía
cuando
reía.
Mi
madre
podía
parecer
seria
pero
rápidamente
veías
que
era
una
persona
feliz.
Caminaba
con
la
cabeza
en
alto
y
con
los
ojos
brillantes.
Samanta
also
distinctly
remembers
her
mother’s
voice.
Tenía
la
voz
grave,
pero
dulce.
Siempre
estaba
cantando
alguna
canción.
Samanta,
her
parents
and
her
brother
lived
in
Nueva
Pompeya.
This
is
a
working
class
neighborhood
in
the
south
side
of
Buenos
Aires
where
many
of
the
first
tangos
were
written
and
performed.
Music
was
always
playing
in
their
home.
Mi
mamá
trabajó
de
joven
en
una
disquería.
Una
disquería
is
a
record
store.
Ella
no
podía
estar
sin
música.
Nos
enseñó
a
escuchar
todo
tipo
de
música
como
rock
o
boleros.
Todos
los
días,
después
de
levantarnos,
escuchábamos
canciones
de
Queen,
Michael
Jackson,
Nat
King
Cole,
Buena
Vista
Social
Club,
José
Feliciano
y
muchos
más.
Samanta
found
refuge
in
her
music-filled
home
and
in
her
close
relationship
with
her
mother.
At
school,
she
was
quiet
and
shy.
So
she
had
trouble
starting
up
conversations
with
her
classmates.
Con
mi
mamá
no
necesitaba
hablar.
Solo
con
mirarnos
ya
sabíamos
qué
pensaba
la
otra.
Mi
madre
era
quien
sabía
mis
secretos.
Era
mi
mejor
amiga
de
niña
y
en
la
adolescencia.
They
were
such
good
friends,
that
Samanta
never
hesitated
to
turn
to
her
for
help.
For
example,
Samanta
had
trouble
sleeping
as
a
kid
and
this
persisted
into
her
teenage
years.
A
veces
yo
no
podía
dormir.
Incluso
hoy
me
preocupo
demasiado
por
todo.
En
ese
tiempo
me
preocupaba
por
mis
notas
en
la
escuela,
por
no
encontrar
una
ocupación
al
terminar
la
escuela
secundaria.
This
constant
worrying
would
keep
Samanta
awake
at
night.
When
she
couldn’t
sleep,
she’d
get
up
from
bed
and
look
for
her
mom.
Sabía
que
mi
mamá
estaba
en
la
sala
o
en
la
cocina,
tomando
un
o
leyendo.
Me
sentaba
cerca
de
ella
y
esperaba
a
oír
alguna
historia
de
cuando
ella
era
chica,
de
mis
abuelos
o
del
libro
que
estaba
leyendo.
Samanta
found
her
mother’s
stories
soothing
and
instantly
calming.
Ángela
was
a
constant
presence
in
the
house
after
Samanta
was
born
because
she
decided
to
leave
her
job
and
be
a
stay-at-home
mom.
Los
sábados
y
los
domingos
me
despertaba
con
su
voz.
Mamá
estaba
siempre
haciendo
algún
trabajo
en
la
casa:
limpiando,
organizando,
reparando
algún
mueble.
Era
el
espíritu
de
la
casa.
In
December
of
2008,
the
Gamarra
family
was
living
a
quiet
life
and
getting
ready
for
Christmas.
Samanta
was
close
to
getting
her
degree
in
literature.
Enseñaba
clases
a
niños
y
jóvenes
en
escuelas.
Estaba
también
ahorrando
para
hacer
un
viaje
a
Europa.
Todavía
vivía
en
casa
con
mis
padres
y
mi
hermano
mayor.
While
doing
some
Christmas
shopping,
Angela
asked
Samanta
to
get
her
a
bag
of
tomatoes.
She
kept
repeating
“tomatoes”,
but
she
was
pointing
to
a
bag
of
nuts.
Yo
no
la
entendía
y
ella
estaba
cada
vez
más
nerviosa.
Cuando
íbamos
a
casa,
intenté
convencerla
de
ir
al
médico.
Me
dijo
que
después
de
las
navidades.
No
le
gustaba
ir
al
médico,
pero
entre
mi
padre,
mi
hermano
y
yo
la
convencimos.
The
next
day,
at
the
doctor’s
office,
they
discovered
Angela
had
a
brain
tumor.
That's
what
was
affecting
her
speech
and
confusing
her.
Surgery
was
scheduled
to
remove
it
after
the
holidays,
and
it
looked
like
the
prognosis
was
good.
Esa
navidad
la
pasamos
tranquilos.
Mi
hermano
y
yo
pensábamos
que
mamá
se
iba
a
mejorar.
Mi
padre
no
decía
nada.
They
had
dinner
at
home
like
every
Christmas
Eve
but
they
canceled
their
traditional
lunch
at
a
restaurant
on
Christmas
day.
Angela
didn’t
have
much
of
an
appetite.
Esa
Navidad
escuchamos
música
como
siempre.
Celebramos
a
medianoche
el
24
y
nos
acostamos
temprano.
Al
día
siguiente
almorzamos
en
casa
y
vimos
películas.
Angela
underwent
surgery
at
the
end
of
January.
They
did
a
biopsy
and
removed
part
of
her
tumor.
Several
doctors
and
tests
later,
they
confirmed
their
worst
fears:
Angela
had
late
stage
brain
cancer.
She
started
chemotherapy
right
away.
El
diagnóstico
fue
muy
duro
para
todos.
Mi
mamá
salió
bien
de
la
operación
pero
después
de
eso
se
puso
peor.
In
less
than
two
months,
Angela
could
barely
move
or
speak.
Ella
decía
pocas
palabras
y
era
difícil
entenderla.
No
se
levantaba
de
la
cama.
Sufría
también
cambios
rápidos
de
carácter.
Se
enfadaba
o
lloraba
sin
ninguna
causa.
Angela
spent
15
days
hospitalized
after
surgery
in
January.
She
went
again
for
physical
therapy.
And
as
her
condition
worsened,
she
had
to
be
treated
for
infections
and
other
health
problems.
Samanta
was
constantly
in
and
out
of
the
hospital
with
her
mom.
Yo
estaba
preocupada,
pero
creía
que
iba
a
mejorar.
Una
noche,
leyéndole
uno
de
sus
libros
favoritos,
ella
me
dijo
que
tenía
miedo.
Yo
me
sentí
muy
triste,
pero
ella
no
lo
notó.
Just
before
Easter
Sunday,
Angela
had
just
finished
a
session
of
chemotherapy
when
she
suddenly
suffered
a
heart
attack.
She
did
not
survive.
Murió
el
12
de
abril
del
2009
a
los
59
años.
Yo
tenía
26.
Su
muerte
vino
por
sorpresa
como
un
golpe
que
no
esperas.
The
months
after
her
mother’s
death
are
all
a
blur
for
Samanta.
Yo
dormía
todo
el
día.
Me
sentía
mal
por
su
muerte,
por
no
haber
visto
los
síntomas.
Estaba
paralizada
por
su
ausencia.
No
salía
de
casa.
Paré
de
ir
a
la
universidad.
Angela’s
death
also
hit
Samanta’s
father
and
brother
very
hard,
but
they
were
able
to
keep
functioning.
Samanta,
on
the
other
hand,
continued
to
be
paralyzed
by
her
grief.
Everything
in
the
house
was
a
constant
reminder
of
her
mother’s
absence.
Yo
veía
la
taza
en
la
que
ella
tomaba
su
por
las
noches,
el
libro
que
no
terminó
de
leer
en
la
mesa
de
la
sala,
su
ropa
en
el
armario
con
sus
zapatos.
Ella
estaba
en
todas
partes.
En
ese
momento,
yo
volvía
a
la
cama.
When
it
came
time
to
deal
with
her
mother’s
belongings,
Samanta
found
it
excruciating
to
give
any
of
them
away.
Yo
no
quería
tocar
nada.
De
esta
manera,
me
parecía
que
en
algún
momento
ella
iba
a
entrar
por
la
puerta
y
todo
iba
a
volver
a
ser
como
antes.
Little
by
little,
Samanta
started
coming
out
of
the
house,
but
the
painful
memories
of
her
last
months
with
her
mother
kept
coming
back.
Yo
pensaba
en
sus
últimos
momentos
en
el
hospital,
en
las
noches
durmiendo
a
su
lado,
esperando
a
verla
mejor.
Fueron
noches
difíciles.
No
dormía
para
estar
alerta
por
si
ella
necesitaba
algo.
Me
sentía
sola.
On
the
anniversary
of
her
mother’s
death,
Samanta
started
thinking
about
activities
to
help
her
move
forward.
Volví
a
mis
clases
de
piano
y
francés,
pero
no
encontré
la
motivación.
No
me
gustaba
el
deporte
y
no
quería
ir
al
psicólogo.
But
one
day,
out
of
the
blue,
she
remembered
the
Sundays
of
her
childhood...
cuando
me
despertaba
con
la
música
flamenca
que
mi
mamá
ponía
para
recordar
a
mi
abuelo.
It
turned
out,
a
friend
from
college
was
taking
flamenco
dance
lessons.
Samanta
asked
her
about
the
studio
and
decided
to
register
for
a
beginner
class.
She
took
classes
once
a
week
and
felt
inspired
by
her
teacher,
Claudia,
whom
she
calls
her
“flamenco
mom.”
Clase
a
clase
aprendí
nuevos
movimientos.
El
proceso
era
difícil;
necesitaba
mucha
energía
y
yo
trabajaba
duro.
En
esos
momentos
mi
cabeza
no
estaba
ocupada
pensando
en
mi
mamá.
But
as
the
classes
got
harder,
Samanta
became
more
critical
of
herself.
En
las
clases
de
flamenco
las
personas
bailan
enfrente
de
un
espejo
para
aprender
los
movimientos.
Yo
me
miraba
cuando
bailaba.
No
me
gustaba
como
lo
hacía.
During
class,
she
would
critique
herself
in
the
studio’s
full-length
mirrors.
She
would
try
to
imitate
her
instructor,
striking
strong
and
forceful
poses
with
her
arms,
but
Samanta
thought
hers
looked
awkward
and
flimsy.
En
esos
momentos
no
podía
parar
de
pensar
en
mamá
cuando
estaba
en
el
hospital,
en
la
cama.
Quizás
mis
movimientos
mal
hechos
me
recordaban
a
cómo
estaba
ella
en
sus
últimos
momentos.
On
a
rainy
day
in
July
of
2010,
Samanta
was
the
only
person
to
show
up
for
class.
While
practicing
steps
with
her
teacher,
Samanta
confessed
to
her
that
she
was
thinking
about
quitting.
She
said
she
didn’t
think
she
had
enough
talent
to
dance
flamenco.
Ella
me
miró
sorprendida
y
luego
me
dijo
que
hay
que
sentir
el
baile.
Me
dijo
que
el
baile
tiene
que
salir
solo,
que
no
hay
que
pensar.
Solo
bailar.
“Just
feel
the
dance,”
her
teacher
told
her.
She
also
said
that
if
she
practiced
more,
the
moves
would
feel
less
awkward.
Había
algo
sincero
en
lo
que
me
decía.
Pensaba
demasiado,
recordaba
demasiado
y
no
sentía
el
baile.
So
Samanta
decided
that’s
what
she’d
do:
she’d
practice,
a
lot.
She
even
bought
a
small
piece
of
wood
where
she
could
practice
the
rhythmic
stomping
known
in
flamenco
as
“zapateado”,
from
the
word
“zapato”,
or
shoe.
She
practiced
the
steps
a
few
minutes
every
day.
El
baile
flamenco
tiene,
como
una
de
sus
características,
hacer
percusión,
es
decir,
golpear
con
las
palmas
de
la
mano
o
con
los
pies
en
el
zapateado.
Flamenco
shoes
actually
have
pieces
of
metal
on
the
toe
and
heel,
so
that
they
make
a
very
particular
and
very
loud
sound
when
you
stomp.
El
zapateado
ocurre
cuando
el
cantaor
no
canta.
El
“cantaor”
is
the
flamenco
singer.
Es
un
momento
muy
intenso
y
es
cuando
la
bailaora
hace
sus
movimientos
apasionados.
“Bailaora”
is
the
flamenco
dancer.
Samanta
practiced
her
steps
every
time
she
thought
about
her
mother’s
disease.
It
didn’t
matter
were
she
was.
Even
in
public,
if
those
thoughts
came…
she’d
start
stomping…
always
to
that
particular
flamenco
rhythm.
Hacer
los
zapateados
con
pasión
me
sirvió
para
quitarme
el
dolor
y
me
ayudó
a
recordar
a
mi
madre.
Dejé
de
verla
enferma
en
la
cama
del
hospital
y
empecé
a
pensar
en
ella
antes
de
su
enfermedad.
At
the
end
of
the
year,
Samanta’s
dance
teacher
organized
a
flamenco
show
with
musicians,
“cantaores”,
and
other
students.
Después
de
solo
siete
meses
yendo
a
clases
y
dos
meses
practicando
diariamente,
llegó
el
gran
día.
Era
mi
primera
vez
en
un
escenario.
Tenía
miedo
de
no
poder
hacerlo,
pero
entonces
recordé
las
palabras
de
mi
profesora.
Solo
tenía
que
bailar
y
sentir
la
música.
Before
getting
on
stage
for
the
show,
Samanta
thought
about
her
mother.
Mi
hermano
y
mi
papá
estaban
en
el
público.
She
was
about
to
dance
what
is
known
as
tango
flamenco,
a
basic
form
that’s
ideal
for
beginners
and
known
for
being
joyful.
Once
she
was
out
on
stage,
Samanta
let
herself
feel
the
music,
and
feel
the
movements
as
if
they
were
her
own.
Pude
imaginar
a
mi
madre
sentada
en
el
público,
al
lado
de
mi
hermano
y
mi
padre.
As
she
went
through
the
choreography,
Samanta
imagined
her
mother
out
in
the
audience
watching
her,
smiling
and
proud.
Y
después
de
mucho
tiempo,
mientras
bailaba,
me
sentí
feliz.
This
story
was
written
by
Samanta
Gamarra.
She
is
based
in
Buenos
Aires
and
she
is
still
taking
flamenco
lessons
every
week.
She
works
as
a
facilities
coordinator
for
the
Education
Department
and
as
substitute
teacher.
This
episode
includes
recordings
of
flamenco
music
and
dance
classes
featuring
Melissa
Cruz
and
her
students
dancing,
singing
by
Feliz
de
Lola
and
José
Cortez,
guitar
by
Itamar
Shapira,
and
palmas
by
David
Paez,
Kerensa
DeMars,
José
Cortez
and
Carola
Zertuche.
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See below for the full transcript

When Samanta Gamarra thinks back on Sundays of her childhood in Buenos Aires, she hears music. But not the tango songs one would stereotypically associate with Argentina. She hears Flamenco, specifically songs of great artists like Paco de Lucía, Lola Flores or Camarón de la Isla. Me despertaba con esas canciones cada domingo. Escuchábamos música en casetes. Mamá y yo cantábamos las canciones mientras yo intentaba bailar flamenco. Samanta's grandfather migrated to Argentina in the 1930s from Spain’s southern region of Andalucia—that’s where flamenco was born. It’s a mix of dance, singing and guitar playing and is famous for its emotional intensity. It’s been around for over two hundred years. Estoy segura de que mi mamá ponía esa música los domingos para recordar a su padre. Creo que ella dedicaba ese día a recordarlo. Listening to flamenco was how Samanta’s mom reconnected with her father, Samanta’s grandfather. And decades later, it would serve as a connection between Samanta and her own mom, when she most needed her. Bienvenidos and welcome to the Duolingo Spanish Podcast — I’m Martina Castro. Every episode, we bring you fascinating true stories, to help you improve your Spanish listening, and to gain new perspectives on the world. The storyteller will be using intermediate Spanish and I’ll be chiming in for context in English. If you miss something, you can always skip back and listen again—and we also offer full transcripts at podcast.duolingo.com. Today’s story comes from Buenos Aires, Argentina. It’s called “Flamenco” told by Samanta Gamarra. Please note that you’ll be hearing Samanta speak in an Argentine accent. They pronounce their double LLs and Ys with a SH sound, as in “aSHer” or “caSHe” instead of “ayer” or “calle”. Angela Romero, Samanta's mother, had hazel eyes that appeared to shift in color depending on the weather and the light. De pequeña, me gustaba mirar sus ojos. En los días soleados eran verde claro y en los días nublados eran de color marrón. Angela’s facial expressions changed along with the color of her eyes. For example, she would sit quietly when she drank mate, the tea that Argentines typically drink. And, absorbed in her thoughts, her face would take on a tragic look. Pero esa expresión trágica desaparecía cuando reía. Mi madre podía parecer seria pero rápidamente veías que era una persona feliz. Caminaba con la cabeza en alto y con los ojos brillantes. Samanta also distinctly remembers her mother’s voice. Tenía la voz grave, pero dulce. Siempre estaba cantando alguna canción. Samanta, her parents and her brother lived in Nueva Pompeya. This is a working class neighborhood in the south side of Buenos Aires where many of the first tangos were written and performed. Music was always playing in their home. Mi mamá trabajó de joven en una disquería. Una disquería is a record store. Ella no podía estar sin música. Nos enseñó a escuchar todo tipo de música como rock o boleros. Todos los días, después de levantarnos, escuchábamos canciones de Queen, Michael Jackson, Nat King Cole, Buena Vista Social Club, José Feliciano y muchos más. Samanta found refuge in her music-filled home and in her close relationship with her mother. At school, she was quiet and shy. So she had trouble starting up conversations with her classmates. Con mi mamá no necesitaba hablar. Solo con mirarnos ya sabíamos qué pensaba la otra. Mi madre era quien sabía mis secretos. Era mi mejor amiga de niña y en la adolescencia. They were such good friends, that Samanta never hesitated to turn to her for help. For example, Samanta had trouble sleeping as a kid and this persisted into her teenage years. A veces yo no podía dormir. Incluso hoy me preocupo demasiado por todo. En ese tiempo me preocupaba por mis notas en la escuela, por no encontrar una ocupación al terminar la escuela secundaria. This constant worrying would keep Samanta awake at night. When she couldn’t sleep, she’d get up from bed and look for her mom. Sabía que mi mamá estaba en la sala o en la cocina, tomando un té o leyendo. Me sentaba cerca de ella y esperaba a oír alguna historia de cuando ella era chica, de mis abuelos o del libro que estaba leyendo. Samanta found her mother’s stories soothing and instantly calming. Ángela was a constant presence in the house after Samanta was born because she decided to leave her job and be a stay-at-home mom. Los sábados y los domingos me despertaba con su voz. Mamá estaba siempre haciendo algún trabajo en la casa: limpiando, organizando, reparando algún mueble. Era el espíritu de la casa. In December of 2008, the Gamarra family was living a quiet life and getting ready for Christmas. Samanta was close to getting her degree in literature. Enseñaba clases a niños y jóvenes en escuelas. Estaba también ahorrando para hacer un viaje a Europa. Todavía vivía en casa con mis padres y mi hermano mayor. While doing some Christmas shopping, Angela asked Samanta to get her a bag of tomatoes. She kept repeating “tomatoes”, but she was pointing to a bag of nuts. Yo no la entendía y ella estaba cada vez más nerviosa. Cuando íbamos a casa, intenté convencerla de ir al médico. Me dijo que después de las navidades. No le gustaba ir al médico, pero entre mi padre, mi hermano y yo la convencimos. The next day, at the doctor’s office, they discovered Angela had a brain tumor. That's what was affecting her speech and confusing her. Surgery was scheduled to remove it after the holidays, and it looked like the prognosis was good. Esa navidad la pasamos tranquilos. Mi hermano y yo pensábamos que mamá se iba a mejorar. Mi padre no decía nada. They had dinner at home like every Christmas Eve but they canceled their traditional lunch at a restaurant on Christmas day. Angela didn’t have much of an appetite. Esa Navidad escuchamos música como siempre. Celebramos a medianoche el 24 y nos acostamos temprano. Al día siguiente almorzamos en casa y vimos películas. Angela underwent surgery at the end of January. They did a biopsy and removed part of her tumor. Several doctors and tests later, they confirmed their worst fears: Angela had late stage brain cancer. She started chemotherapy right away. El diagnóstico fue muy duro para todos. Mi mamá salió bien de la operación pero después de eso se puso peor. In less than two months, Angela could barely move or speak. Ella decía pocas palabras y era difícil entenderla. No se levantaba de la cama. Sufría también cambios rápidos de carácter. Se enfadaba o lloraba sin ninguna causa. Angela spent 15 days hospitalized after surgery in January. She went again for physical therapy. And as her condition worsened, she had to be treated for infections and other health problems. Samanta was constantly in and out of the hospital with her mom. Yo estaba preocupada, pero creía que iba a mejorar. Una noche, leyéndole uno de sus libros favoritos, ella me dijo que tenía miedo. Yo me sentí muy triste, pero ella no lo notó. Just before Easter Sunday, Angela had just finished a session of chemotherapy when she suddenly suffered a heart attack. She did not survive. Murió el 12 de abril del 2009 a los 59 años. Yo tenía 26. Su muerte vino por sorpresa como un golpe que no esperas. The months after her mother’s death are all a blur for Samanta. Yo dormía todo el día. Me sentía mal por su muerte, por no haber visto los síntomas. Estaba paralizada por su ausencia. No salía de casa. Paré de ir a la universidad. Angela’s death also hit Samanta’s father and brother very hard, but they were able to keep functioning. Samanta, on the other hand, continued to be paralyzed by her grief. Everything in the house was a constant reminder of her mother’s absence. Yo veía la taza en la que ella tomaba su té por las noches, el libro que no terminó de leer en la mesa de la sala, su ropa en el armario con sus zapatos. Ella estaba en todas partes. En ese momento, yo volvía a la cama. When it came time to deal with her mother’s belongings, Samanta found it excruciating to give any of them away. Yo no quería tocar nada. De esta manera, me parecía que en algún momento ella iba a entrar por la puerta y todo iba a volver a ser como antes. Little by little, Samanta started coming out of the house, but the painful memories of her last months with her mother kept coming back. Yo pensaba en sus últimos momentos en el hospital, en las noches durmiendo a su lado, esperando a verla mejor. Fueron noches difíciles. No dormía para estar alerta por si ella necesitaba algo. Me sentía sola. On the anniversary of her mother’s death, Samanta started thinking about activities to help her move forward. Volví a mis clases de piano y francés, pero no encontré la motivación. No me gustaba el deporte y no quería ir al psicólogo. But one day, out of the blue, she remembered the Sundays of her childhood... … cuando me despertaba con la música flamenca que mi mamá ponía para recordar a mi abuelo. It turned out, a friend from college was taking flamenco dance lessons. Samanta asked her about the studio and decided to register for a beginner class. She took classes once a week and felt inspired by her teacher, Claudia, whom she calls her “flamenco mom.” Clase a clase aprendí nuevos movimientos. El proceso era difícil; necesitaba mucha energía y yo trabajaba duro. En esos momentos mi cabeza no estaba ocupada pensando en mi mamá. But as the classes got harder, Samanta became more critical of herself. En las clases de flamenco las personas bailan enfrente de un espejo para aprender los movimientos. Yo me miraba cuando bailaba. No me gustaba como lo hacía. During class, she would critique herself in the studio’s full-length mirrors. She would try to imitate her instructor, striking strong and forceful poses with her arms, but Samanta thought hers looked awkward and flimsy. En esos momentos no podía parar de pensar en mamá cuando estaba en el hospital, en la cama. Quizás mis movimientos mal hechos me recordaban a cómo estaba ella en sus últimos momentos. On a rainy day in July of 2010, Samanta was the only person to show up for class. While practicing steps with her teacher, Samanta confessed to her that she was thinking about quitting. She said she didn’t think she had enough talent to dance flamenco. Ella me miró sorprendida y luego me dijo que hay que sentir el baile. Me dijo que el baile tiene que salir solo, que no hay que pensar. Solo bailar. “Just feel the dance,” her teacher told her. She also said that if she practiced more, the moves would feel less awkward. Había algo sincero en lo que me decía. Pensaba demasiado, recordaba demasiado y no sentía el baile. So Samanta decided that’s what she’d do: she’d practice, a lot. She even bought a small piece of wood where she could practice the rhythmic stomping known in flamenco as “zapateado”, from the word “zapato”, or shoe. She practiced the steps a few minutes every day. El baile flamenco tiene, como una de sus características, hacer percusión, es decir, golpear con las palmas de la mano o con los pies en el zapateado. Flamenco shoes actually have pieces of metal on the toe and heel, so that they make a very particular and very loud sound when you stomp. El zapateado ocurre cuando el cantaor no canta. El “cantaor” is the flamenco singer. Es un momento muy intenso y es cuando la bailaora hace sus movimientos apasionados. “Bailaora” is the flamenco dancer. Samanta practiced her steps every time she thought about her mother’s disease. It didn’t matter were she was. Even in public, if those thoughts came… she’d start stomping… always to that particular flamenco rhythm. Hacer los zapateados con pasión me sirvió para quitarme el dolor y me ayudó a recordar a mi madre. Dejé de verla enferma en la cama del hospital y empecé a pensar en ella antes de su enfermedad. At the end of the year, Samanta’s dance teacher organized a flamenco show with musicians, “cantaores”, and other students. Después de solo siete meses yendo a clases y dos meses practicando diariamente, llegó el gran día. Era mi primera vez en un escenario. Tenía miedo de no poder hacerlo, pero entonces recordé las palabras de mi profesora. Solo tenía que bailar y sentir la música. Before getting on stage for the show, Samanta thought about her mother. Mi hermano y mi papá estaban en el público. She was about to dance what is known as tango flamenco, a basic form that’s ideal for beginners and known for being joyful. Once she was out on stage, Samanta let herself feel the music, and feel the movements as if they were her own. Pude imaginar a mi madre sentada en el público, al lado de mi hermano y mi padre. As she went through the choreography, Samanta imagined her mother out in the audience watching her, smiling and proud. Y después de mucho tiempo, mientras bailaba, me sentí feliz. This story was written by Samanta Gamarra. She is based in Buenos Aires and she is still taking flamenco lessons every week. She works as a facilities coordinator for the Education Department and as substitute teacher. This episode includes recordings of flamenco music and dance classes featuring Melissa Cruz and her students dancing, singing by Feliz de Lola and José Cortez, guitar by Itamar Shapira, and palmas by David Paez, Kerensa DeMars, José Cortez and Carola Zertuche.

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